My Second Post - A Story and New Found Motivation

I just started this blog today (stayed up all night to do it too) and I am writing my second post.
Actually this is what I really wanted to post in the first place. This is what finally got me making a blog.

So I was trying out this random Manga (which is like a Japanese comic book, but not since there are stories for all ages, and my addiction to manga is a whole other story) and in it the main heroine finds herself succumbing to a guy's (who is her boyfriend but she's only dating him to get over her feelings for another guy and in hopes of falling for this new guy) persistent pressure to kiss him and do "more erotic" things with him. She feels uneasy tries telling him no, tries to run away, but when she can't she decides that "It'll happen anyway" and lets him touch her breasts. I, being the story teller and life lesson sharer, immediately hit the forums and share my similar experience in hopes of stopping girls from suffering the same fate.

This is what I posted. (With some additions for a more informed story)


  This is about what happened in chapter 11 between Shun (her boyfriend) and Chitose (the main heroine).

I was in the same kind of situation as Chitose.

I was hanging out with a guy, he was two years older than me I was 19 at the time, I thought of him as a friend I had no romantic feelings towards him. One night (I was looking at the stars with him, I love stargazing) I guess I unintentionally made a romantic mood and he tried to kiss me. I avoided it, I had never been kissed before and I wanted my first kiss to be special. I asked him if he liked me and he said yes. Being 19 and being the ultimate virgin I wanted to kiss him, I'm a writer and I really wanted to know what it felt like. So I kissed him and felt nothing, no sparks nor fireworks nor anything special. I thought "that's it?" "Kinda boring". But I was happy, here is this nice, smart guy, who I have lots in common with and he likes ME. Then we looked at the stars he said some sweet nothings in my ear and we had a few more kisses and he walked me home promising to meet me the next day. 
He never called nor texted me. I was upset and asked him why later on that night on facebook, he said he forgot and, stupidly, I said it was fine. A few nights later he asks me to go on a walk with him, I say yes, so we walk hand in hand and we kiss a few times, he puts his hand on my butt I move it away jokingly telling him to watch where he puts his hands. But he is persistent and I eventually stop bothering, sometimes he would pull me tightly against him but instead of it feeling passionate it felt like he was crushing me, sometimes he would touch my chest I didn't like it but I didn't stop him. A few nights later (after standing me up and saying we're not going out "yet") he asks me to his place and I go, he puts on a video about the solar system and a few minutes in he starts kissing me, and soon were making out. He puts his hand under my shirt, then under my bra, and I don't stop him.

This is my biggest regret, I was thinking just like Chitose. "This is going to happen eventually", "Everybody does this", "I'm really curious", "I just really want to know".

We didn't go all the way, though he talked me into touching him outside his clothes. What I know now is that he just wanted me for my body. And when I didn't give it to him he dumped me on facebook. I was angry, he was a jerk, but I'm soooo thankful that he dumped me, with a little convincing on his part I don't know if he could have convinced me to go all the way with him.

So the point of sharing this story is to warn girls like me and Chitose, who were inexperienced in dating and what comes with dating. DON'T LET HIM TALK YOU INTO DOING ANYTHING YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING! Even if you are curious, even if you feel like everyone else has done it, even if you're 19 and you know a lot of people your age has gone all the way, WAIT till you've found someone you like. PLEASE! It's my biggest regret, I felt used, violated,and so confused as to why I didn't feel anything special. I wondered if something was wrong with me. But now I know I wasn't attracted to him, he was moving way WAY too fast even when I told him I wanted to go SLOW.

Even if you like him if he asks you to do something you're not ready for DON'T do it and tell him you're not ready. If he is persistent and is being so very convincing tell him NO and that it's a deal breaker, don't go with the flow.

This is a warning from a girl who knows, kissing him won't make you like him, doing more won't make you feel more mature, going all the way won't make you feel loved. It will only make you hate yourself and fill you with regret.

Please remember this so that if this kind of moment comes and you feel pressured you'll know the outcome if you go with the flow. Also remember that it's OK to wait, it's not a childish thought or fantasy, if you don't like him or if you're pressured into it, you won't feel anything special, you'll only feel regret.

I posted this in hopes of teaching some naive girls on this site who were definitely reading this story what happens when you let a guy persuade you into doing things you don't want to do or are ready for. Not even one hour after I posted this thread another thread pops up and it says this:

i hate this if she doesn't like it don't do it i hate these types of girls no offense to uniquelyme91 (my screen name) plz

I had gone from informer to being hated for being "That kind of girl". I was shocked, offended, and honestly hurt. I was "That Kind of Girl". The kind of girl I disliked myself, the kind of girl I never thought I would be. So wanting to mend my pride I wrote:

If you read my post then you'd know I'm filled with regret. I know how stupid I was and I suffered the consequence, but I never thought that I was "that kind of girl", I thought I'd like him as time went on. But unless you have been in that kind of situation you don't know how you're going to act. I was naive and I had told him I wanted to go slow, that I was very new to dating, he didn't listen and he was very persistent. When you have no idea what to do and are scared of being rejected you go with the flow. Now I know better and I'll never do that again. Hating someone who gets caught up in the flow and is not sure how to turn down a persistent guy is a bit much in my opinion. And I know I'm not the only one, and I want to warn girls who are like me and feel like everyone else has done it, "I'm not going to go all the way so kissing and touching is no big deal", that it is a big deal and you will feel hurt, violated, confused, and maybe even hate yourself for letting him do what he wants. 

You may hate girls like me and chitose and feel like you'd never ever do that, but if you haven't been in the same situation as us, you have no idea how you'd act. So please keep this in mind so that if a situation like this comes up and you're wavering under the pressure he's putting on you remember to not do what he wants and focus FULLY on what you want, the right guy and the right feeling, you will know when the right time is to give him your heart and your body.

I posted my story to help girls I had no idea I'd be hated lol

I am still a little hurt. I am a very sensitive person after all. The guy I shared my first kiss with was a guy I was completely myself with. He said he accepted all of me and my quirks that come with ADHD. I had really thought that with time I'd love him. But it was not to be and I am so glad he saw it first before I did and before I lost more than I had already. I suppose one day I'll find the right one for me, someone who I love as much as they love me. However I have little trust in love and men at this point. I truly do hope there will be a guy who changes my mind. 
(BTW I am not a lesbian, not that I am a homophob or anything, I am Canadian and believe in the freedom to love and marry whomever you wish, I have given it much thought but I'm not sexually attracted to women. Which kind of sucks since I'm sure it would be easier for me to trust a female partner than a male one.)